life in the tune of mono

My mind goes to a dark place that I don’t want to be at. Dreams of hollow and death fill in the spaces in my mind. I wish I could say that these were just casual thoughts but they aren’t. Somewhere deep down inside me is a boy longing for release and the only way that he knows how to is to end it all.

“It would be so easy,” speaks my heart to which my mind concurs. It would. Almost too easy.

Something inside me holds me back from doing it. I guess you could call it God (assuming He still exists in my life). I call it guilt. If Hell is eternally, I don’t think I could live with myself knowing I left behind a wife.

And I suppose, that is a good thought to have.

Everyone has a story to tell and not everyone wants to hear the stories you have to tell them. I am surely no exception to this rule. If you are reading this, this is my attempt to reach out to anybody in the human race who would care listen to me.

I suppose before we jump head on into this, you do deserve to know a little bit of who I am. I am a husband, an engineer, and by some strange extension, a leader in a local church. Mostly, that is what I am.

If you ever met me, you would like me but you would not remember me. I am merely a number, a footnote in this crazy worldwecall home.

My name is John Doe. And this is my life laid out in mono for you.